And the Winner is...
I wasn't trying to be coy or suspenseful at all, I had no internet access all week. Could you feel my withdrawal? Yes, I had the big ultrasound on Saturday. We had to wait almost an hour for our appointment they were so far behind, very annoying. They said it was because of people travelling in from out of town, bad roads etc. Well, we travelled in from out of town and managed to get there on time! Plan ahead people! If it's icy you have to leave earlier!Anyway, the tech had a hard time seeing the parts she needed to see and I was starting to feel like we weren't going to get an answer, but she told me they don't give up that easily. She got my permission and started poking and jiggling my belly to get the baby to turn. In the end, she told us that we are having another boy.
I've had almost a week to process it and I'm feeling better about it, but since this is certainly the one place that I can be completely honest I will admit that I was near devastated. I was leaking tears during the remainder of the ultrasound, it was all I could do to try and look happy and normal. As soon as we hit the door I burst into tears. I just wanted a daughter SO SO badly. My poor DH didn't know what to do other than rub my back while I was crying. He said he didn't know what to say and of course he wouldn't because he didn't understand. I told him he had to imagine how he would feel if he had just been told that he would never have a son, he said he would be pretty upset. Later in the day he asked me if I was going to want to try again!! I firmly told him no way! Not having a daughter is not changing my mind about being done at 3 kids.
I have moments where I feel completely selfish and guilty. At least I am able to have children, I'm able to get pregnant easily, and hopefully in a few month I will have 3 healthy and happy boys. I know all of these are things I should feel grateful for, and I'm getting there. I just needed some time to mourn my dream of a daughter. She would have been Quinn.
Of course there are good things about having another boy. I have stacks and piles and boxes of boy clothes, boy toys, and I know how to deal with boys so far. I've also been imagining them as 3 young men and it does make me smile. Plus, when they get older DH will have someone else to boss around with his "projects" and I won't have to help anymore! lol!
So now the hardest part starts which for us is finding a name! Our younger son had no name for 3 whole days. We're terrible with finding boys names and agreeing on them. I told my husband that I will be picking the name this time, and surprisingly he agreed. Must have been the tears lol! Still, I'm terribly picky and so far I don't even have a front runner. We like different but not hard to pronounce/spell names. Suggestions? Bring em on!!!
posted by Dee @ 8:55 AM
2 Comments:
First of all, congrats on your baby boy...I am so glad that everything looked good.
Second...I totally understand how you feel, somewhat. I never thought I'd have a daughter so when I found out I'd have two at once, I was thrilled yet a part of me was sad for my husband as I knew he was a little disappointed thinking there'd be at least one boy. After all we had gone through to get pregnant, of course we both felt horrible for having these thoughts but just because we struggled with infertility doesn't mean we can't have the same feelings. We don't know if we will have any more children...I would love to have a son but I don't want to keep trying only for that reason. I am happy with two and I know deep down inside that if we had two boys I'd be finished, though my heart would always long for a daughter just as I know my husband will always long for a son.
That being said...the love and joy that any baby brings is simply amazing, which you know! And, as you said, as long as they are happy and healthy, we are blessed beyond belief. Your boys are going to be the best of buddies for life :)
As for names...my favorite boy names are Drew, Chase (hmmm, see a pattern?)and Alex. I'm trying to remember what some of our others were...I'll be back if I think of more!
Oh dear! Congrats on the next baby! Children are such a blessing. I know you're dissapointed currently but you will cheer up. There's is much to celebrate! And one day through God's blessings you will get 3 daughters, daughters by marriage. As for names I like good old fashioned ones. Ones that you don't see often anymore like George, Joel, & Paul. So very happy for you!! (((hugs)))
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